Just Keep Going

Part of my whole motivation for losing weight was I wanted to get healthy once and for all before we started a family.  I didn't want it to be a struggle that continued on.  Before I had Desmond, I was at my lowest weight ever - 157.  I think it lasted a whole of two days.  But I almost fainted when I saw it on the scale.  I felt so good and so strong.  Now before you start thinking I used my pregnancy as a free for all and threw health out the window...just know that I didn't.  Those 9 months and the 5 months that followed were tough for me.  I continued eating healthy and working out most of my pregnancy, but the weight seemed to come on quickly.  I'll admit...I was a little embarrassed to talk about health and weight, so the easiest thing was not to. 

The day I went in to deliver Desmond I was at 204.  Part of me was a little devastated.  Back in the 200s again!?  I just new that I would do everything in my power to say so long to that number the first chance I got.  Within the first week of his life I was already at 185!  Sweet.  I didn't even do anything to get there.  BUT...everyone said the weight would just continue to fall off.  Well it didn't.  And I stayed at 185 for what felt like forever.  Getting back into working out was hard.  But it was also hard mentally.  I wanted to be one of those hard core women I read about who ran marathons in their 8th month of pregnancy, and bounced right back to it just months after giving birth.  That was just not in the cards for me.  My recovery didn't come as quickly as I hoped.  And where I wanted to be mentally and where I was physically just weren't matching up.  I tried doing Insanity like 8 weeks out and quickly realized I needed to give myself some slack.  It's been a slow come back but I finally feel good about where I am.  

And though quitting was never an option, I have thought a lot lately about why I started and it's been good to get my head back there.  I say it all of the time, but really it's so true...Our physical, spiritual and mental lives are so connected and play into each other and it feels good to be out of this slump.  I can't change the past year of my life, but I learned a lot and hope to do things differently the next time around.  I have a new day before me, and a future that's unwritten.  Looking forward to so much more!